[Rant] Minor Rant III: For a Few Hollers More

Well, I did finish it. I mean, it was the only caffeine I was going to get that morning, and if that meant putting up with a fowl aftertaste, then so be it.

--Patrick
When I was around ten yrs old, I caught a fish, cleaned it, and stuck it in some water and put it in the freezer. I didn't know the proper way to store fish; I was ten. My dad drinks gallons of iced tea every day. He used to drink out of the these giant Love's trucker plastic mugs with a lid. You can see where this went. His tea became fishier and fishier. I was sad that he ruined my fillet-o-fish.
 
My fingers are swelling inside my cast to the point that I want to puke. Seeing plastic surgeon tomorrow. At least I'll get a new cast out of it.
 
My wife made Christmas treats for my lab and hers. I handed mine out yesterday, and this morning I saw that someone left theirs right on top of the trash. Nice. Making friends where ever I go.
 
My wife made Christmas treats for my lab and hers. I handed mine out yesterday, and this morning I saw that someone left theirs right on top of the trash. Nice. Making friends where ever I go.
Hey man, some people just suck and there's nothing you can do about it. Alternatively, whichever person it was may have taken one to be polite, but isn't allowed <insert ingredient here>. But sometimes, people just suck. Try not to let it get you down.
 
What a fucking day. First I get a migraine. Then, I get home to find out my package was delivered to my old address because the website reset my default address. THEN I find out some idiot wasn't paying attention because they were rubbernecking an accident and ran into the rear end of my wife's car, wedging her between that car and the car in front of here.

For fuck's sake, people, keep your eyes on the road and stop fucking about.
 
A

Anonymous

Anonymous

Sitting here in awkward silence on the couch, next to my girlfriend. Her stressful day turned into a list of complaints about me (I don't make enough money as a teacher, I spend too many hours at work, she has to do everything). I got quiet, and so she asked me how that felt. I made the mistake of telling her the truth in a quiet and calm manner. I explained that it was hard hearing that, that I didn't know what she wanted me to do, does she want me to think about switching careers, etc. Her response? A complaint about how I'm taking it all too personal, it was venting not a personal attack, why do I always overreact... fml. Now I'm the bad guy.

And we were having such a nice day until about 90 minutes ago.
 
A

Anonymous

Anonymous

Sitting here in awkward silence on the couch, next to my girlfriend. Her stressful day turned into a list of complaints about me (I don't make enough money as a teacher, I spend too many hours at work, she has to do everything). I got quiet, and so she asked me how that felt. I made the mistake of telling her the truth in a quiet and calm manner. I explained that it was hard hearing that, that I didn't know what she wanted me to do, does she want me to think about switching careers, etc. Her response? A complaint about how I'm taking it all too personal, it was venting not a personal attack, why do I always overreact... fml. Now I'm the bad guy.

And we were having such a nice day until about 90 minutes ago.
Did I mention she sprung all this on me while I have a fever, and probably the flu? Yup.
 

Cajungal

Staff member
Man, that is rough. I feel like it *could* have just been a vent, just harshly worded. I feel like people don't always know how to word those kinds of things delicately. They harp on "you do this, you do that" when really the subject of the conversation isn't your actions but how they feel about those actions. Jake doesn't make much money since he's in school, and we've had a similar conversation. However it ended with my expression of gratitude for all the things he *does* do--help with chores and bills, emotional support, working really hard in and out of school...recognizing that makes a big difference.
 

fade

Staff member
Yeah I can honestly see how she was talking about you but not really meaning it personally. Talking to the room. That said I don't think you were wrong to react the way you did. It was what it was at this point.
 
Man, that is rough. I feel like it *could* have just been a vent, just harshly worded. I feel like people don't always know how to word those kinds of things delicately.
It could also have been intended as a genuine attempt at constructive criticism, with the speaker assuming that the relationship was close/tight enough that the commentary would of course only be taken as informational since we like one another so much that it's obvious we're not trying to hurt each other's feelings (why would we ever do that to each other?) and ... oops.

--Patrick
 
I've been looking at prices for this family adventure in May so @AussieT and our kids can see me graduate. The plan was to fly to the east coast, spend a few days with my family & a couple of friends, then go to San Diego for a few days so we could see his family before coming home to HI. All together, including meals, hotel (in CA), airfare, entertainment, etc. it's going to run us about 6 grand. That is with the cheapest flights I can get atm and staying on the naval base in CA. Our tax return would cover it, plus I have some money left from school funds... but we're trying to buy a house and are facing his retirement shortly after I graduate. I could go on my own to cut the cost (I'd just go to VA for the ceremony, then stay with my parents for two days before flying home), but I want my husband and children with me! They're the ones who have been on this journey with me, not my parents. They deserve as much recognition as I do just for putting up with me being preoccupied, grouchy, and tired more often than not. I could just get my diploma in the mail and not attend graduation, but I worked my ass off for this! I more than earned the right to walk down the aisle and accept my diploma (plus, unless I totally fuck up my last two classes and internship, I should graduate summa cum laude!).

Why does this have to be so hard?!?

Of course talking with my parents is no help. My dad let me know how he and my mom pay so much money for their flights here (yeah, your total cost is $1400 at the most...that is a lot but, not as much as 6000, please forgive me if I pull out my violin and play you the saddest tune on the planet). My mom started arguing with me about there being things to do around where they live when I said we were not staying for more than a couple of days. They live in the woods. Everything my kids would like is at least an hour away if not longer. Philly? About an hour. Baltimore? About 2 hours at least. NYC? DC? Yeah. None of these things are "close". The beach? Early May in NJ is not exactly warm like we've gotten used to. BUT I have also been informed that they will be headed to a convention the day after I graduate which means they are not going to be around any how. So why are you arguing with me about this again? /headdesk
 
Actually, for us 99% of the time it doesn't. Simply because of the second part of my rant.
I meant the 1% of the time.

I'm about four hours from my hometown. My dad and in-laws are four-hour-plus flight(s) away. And God forbid that any of the rest of my family come up here to visit. And, weather this time of year makes that trip even worse at times, because of the hit-and-miss nature of how some counties in this state clear roads.

Of course, it's not like I have 2K+ miles of ocean between me and them. But damn, sometimes it feels like it.
 
A

Anonymous

Anonymous

Man, that is rough. I feel like it *could* have just been a vent, just harshly worded. I feel like people don't always know how to word those kinds of things delicately. They harp on "you do this, you do that" when really the subject of the conversation isn't your actions but how they feel about those actions. Jake doesn't make much money since he's in school, and we've had a similar conversation. However it ended with my expression of gratitude for all the things he *does* do--help with chores and bills, emotional support, working really hard in and out of school...recognizing that makes a big difference.
Yeah I can honestly see how she was talking about you but not really meaning it personally. Talking to the room. That said I don't think you were wrong to react the way you did. It was what it was at this point.
So, I thought I would share the aftermath.

Thanks to everyone who responded. It really helped me look at our conversation from a different perspective.

Long story short, we talked and I apologized for misinterpreting her intentions when she was talking to me. I promised to take a moment to examine what she's really saying the next time I think she's being critical. She also apologized for accidentally hurting my feelings. We had a good talk, probably the talk we should have had the first time around. Things got better immediately afterwards.

Thanks again you guys, especially @Cajungal and @fade
 
Glad to hear it. Too often we get to hear about how everything starts falling apart and going downhill, it's great to be able to instead hear about how it ended up being mutually educational.

--Patrick
 
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