Whine like a baby, now with 500% more drama!

Bah.
So I started my new job on the 2nd. (yay!) And the first show is this Sunday (naturally). Everything's done, prepared, organized, etc. Even with figuring out a new office, network, computer, e-mail client, printer, and where the ... heck... everything is, while also trying to figure out why there's so much extra... stuff... lying around. And well, everything's done but the center showpiece. That which my fitness for the position, my trustworthiness, and all that other crap will be determined by. I have a draft and notes, there's no reason why I can't get the damn thing written. But I just fail at typing. The file has been open on my computer for... close to three hours now and not a single letter has been added to it. Bah! I need to get this thing done dammit. Stupid stress.

Maybe if I had a drink....
 
I miss potato chips so bad.

I don't want to swear off women for a while.

It's either chips or women and chips will give me a stroke a little bit faster.

Oh, I could buy a bag of Lays Reduced Sodium, but what's the fucking point? It's like drinking non-alcoholic beer. It's not worth it.
 
Last edited:
Is it the starch? Or the salt?

--Patrick
I recently was diagnosed with a hypertension crisis, my blood pressure was basically 12000/9200. So, salt is minimal in my diet now.

The two things I love most in the world is women and potato chips. I can't give up both.
 
I think you mean 120/92. Otherwise your heart is squeezing so hard you could spray a geyser of blood over 50 storeys high (153m) if you were to spring a leak.

--Patrick
I was exaggerating, but it was over 180/110.

It wasn't good.

High blood pressure seems to run in my family and my job is very stressful and I consume far too much sodium.
 
Combo Avapro and a diuretic I can't remember the name of. I took to it really well and only needed half as much as my doctor thought it would take.
 
Oh yeah, diuretic. Until your body gets used to it, you need a water pill something fierce.

On the same side, don't be too far away from the bathroom for a while.
 
So yeah, everybody around me recently is either:

A. Getting engaged (my brother, my high school ex)

B. Celebrating anniversaries (Too many people to list)

C. Having more kids (At least three high school friends)

I know I should be happy for everyone, but at the same time it's just more of a reminder of how little of my dreams I've accomplished.
 
So yeah, everybody around me recently is either:

A. Getting engaged (my brother, my high school ex)

B. Celebrating anniversaries (Too many people to list)

C. Having more kids (At least three high school friends)

I know I should be happy for everyone, but at the same time it's just more of a reminder of how little of my dreams I've accomplished.
What are your dreams, Cheesy? You talk a lot about wanting to be in a relationship, this list seems to reflect that exactly, but you rarely mention anything else you want to accomplish. As nice as it is to have a "romantic partner", it isn't a definite path to happiness or satisfaction. So what else do you want in your life? I'm genuinely curious.
 
Honestly, I don't know anymore. For the longest time, my goal was just the typical "American Dream". Good job, decent house, loving wife and 2.5 kids. But I graduated with a programming degree just as the dot-coms crashed, went back home to substitute teach only to succumb to a rare disease months after loosing medical insurance, and then the years of massive debt I became buried in afterwards. Coupled with my constant misadventures in romance, I've lost a lot of the dreams I'd once had. I'm going back to school to become a paralegal, but that's out of necessity rather than want. At this point, I'd just like to make a decent of enough living to stop being a financial burden on my family. I know being in a relationship isn't the end-all of goals, but it sure is hard going through life feeling like nobody truthfully wants to be your companion. Whine whine whine.
 
I don't think it's "whine whine whine", but from my side of the computer screen it seems like you're stuck on that one aspect of Cheesy's Life. Punishing yourself for not being like your friends isn't going to help you reach your goals or make new ones. It is important to make new ones or find a new way to get there if the old goals haven't worked out. Your story isn't all that unusual, Cheesy. Many people in recent years have found themselves facing unemployment, no health insurance, bills piled up to their eyebrows, and so on. A lot of us have had to reevaluate our goals or whose lives have gone in a far different direction than we ever thought it would. Some times you just have to work on it one thing at a time, one day at a time.

And if you're like me, you have a voice inside your head that tells you what a disastrous failure it'll all be since it always ends up that way. I had to stop listening to it. Maybe you should, too.
 
As cliche as this sounds--being with someone won't fix what you don't like about your life. Finding the one is a way we're taught to believe, but it isn't true. You can be with someone and still be lonely, unhappy, etc. You gotta be good with you before you can be good with someone else.
 
It's been 5 years and 2 short-lasting girlfriends ago. And finding stuff in my closet from my ex still messes with me emotionally. I'm cleaning things out and I don't know what to do with this blanket she spent two years hand-crocheting for me. I feel shitty throwing out or giving it away. But keeping it is doing nothing to help me. I don't want to take it with me to my new apartment. I don't even want to put it in storage. I don't know what I want. The closest thing I can come up with to an answer that feels "right" is pack it up and ship it back to Germany to her. But I know that would be shitty of me, she won't want it any more than I do.
 
Last edited:
It's been 5 years and 2 short-lasting girlfriends ago. And finding stuff in my closet from my ex still messes with me emotionally. I'm cleaning things out and I don't know what to do with this blanket she spent two years hand-crocheting for me. I feel shitty throwing out or giving it away. But keeping it is doing nothing to help me. I don't want to take it with me to my new apartment. I don't even want to put it in storage. I don't know what I want. The closest thing I can come up with to an answer that feels "right" is pack it up and ship it back to Germany to her. But I know that would be shitty of me, she won't want it any more than I do.
If it didn't hurt, it would be okay to keep. I still have some my ex from 10 years ago got me, because I don't associate it with her, including a blanket I use nightly. It has nothing to do with her--it's just a good blanket.

However, if it does mess you up, destroy it. Don't just throw it out; unmake it so that it doesn't exist and no longer means anything to you. It's not being shitty--she doesn't care about it anymore and it's only causing you pain. Destroying it will help you move on, because it's no longer there to be attached to. That's why people do photo/letter-burning; it's a matter of moving on so they can heal.
 
It's been 5 years and 2 short-lasting girlfriends ago. And finding stuff in my closet from my ex still messes with me emotionally. I'm cleaning things out and I don't know what to do with this blanket she spent two years hand-crocheting for me. I feel shitty throwing out or giving it away. But keeping it is doing nothing to help me. I don't want to take it with me to my new apartment. I don't even want to put it in storage. I don't know what I want. The closest thing I can come up with to an answer that feels "right" is pack it up and ship it back to Germany to her. But I know that would be shitty of me, she won't want it any more than I do.
Personally I'd donate it. Having it around isn't ever going to feel good, but depending on where you donate it, it can help a person or animal in need, thus not going to waste.
 
It's been 5 years and 2 short-lasting girlfriends ago. And finding stuff in my closet from my ex still messes with me emotionally. I'm cleaning things out and I don't know what to do with this blanket she spent two years hand-crocheting for me. I feel shitty throwing out or giving it away. But keeping it is doing nothing to help me. I don't want to take it with me to my new apartment. I don't even want to put it in storage. I don't know what I want. The closest thing I can come up with to an answer that feels "right" is pack it up and ship it back to Germany to her. But I know that would be shitty of me, she won't want it any more than I do.
I agree with Celt Z; donate it. You've already said it's not helping you. So let it help someone else.
 
A storm that hit work just before I went on vacation blew out a handful of outlets, a half dozen TVs, and the brand new lobby coffee machine. We were lucky the place survived.
 
Top