Rant VIII: The Reckoning

Dave

Staff member
Honestly, my biggest question out of all that is what exactly was he buying for himself? From all accounts you've said about him, he sounds like a reasonable, responsible boy who wouldn't make a series of big, stupid purchases.
He's also in a new country with basically the clothes on his back. He bought a TV, a PS4 to watch videos & play games, and a bunch of movies digitally because there's no Netflix in Korea. So he's bought a bunch of stuff, but that's only because he kinda had to.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
When I went to vegas a couple years back, my bank called my home phone (I still had a land line at the time) because they thought my card being used in Las Vegas was suspicious. However, despite their inability to reach me, they did not put a hold on my account. I found out about it on my answering machine.
 

Dave

Staff member
When I went to vegas a couple years back, my bank called my home phone (I still had a land line at the time) because they thought my card being used in Las Vegas was suspicious. However, despite their inability to reach me, they did not put a hold on my account.
They flat out told me they were going to because the charges were outside the country.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
They flat out told me they were going to because the charges were outside the country.
I share you perturbation. It seems to me a financial institution which claims to specialize in servicing... well, servicemen... would be familiar with the concept of them being stationed overseas, particularly places like S. Korea or Germany. Coming from a military family, it seems to me I think I met less people who HADN'T spent time in both those places than had, when I was young.
 
When I went to vegas a couple years back, my bank called my home phone (I still had a land line at the time) because they thought my card being used in Las Vegas was suspicious. However, despite their inability to reach me, they did not put a hold on my account. I found out about it on my answering machine.
Well, maybe they thought you not being at home was good evidence that you might be in Las Vegas.
 
So my wife and I started watching Game of Thrones tonight. It was about 10 minutes in and the phone rang with the caller ID "Marine Corps N". We had no idea what this was so we answered it. Turns out it's the Navy Federal Credit Union saying that there were some suspicious charges on my son's debit card and they wanted us to verify.

Couple of things. My son is in South Korea and CAN'T verify, and how the fuck do I know whether the charges are authentic? They probably are as he's been making some purchases. So I pressed the # key until the system threw up it's hands and put me through to a human. Turns out I would have been just as well off talking to the fucking machine. It went something like this.

Me: This is my son's account and he's in South Korea. How can we have him verify these charges?
Them: Sir, if you're not on the account we can't tell you anything.
Me: So what's going to happen?
Them: We're going to freeze the account until he calls and verifies.
Me: He's in South Korea and doesn't have a phone. How can he do that?
Them: Sir, if you're not on the account, we can't tell you anything.
Me: Put your supervisor on.
Them: One moment, please.
Supervisor: I'm sorry, sir, if you're not on the account...

I fucking went off. I probably yelled and bitched at that woman for 15 straight minutes while she tried to blow me off. Finally, she agreed to put some notes in the system saying that he's in Korea and that he'd need to get to the bank branch on his base, but he would have a limited time to do so. I calmed down a lot and even laughed with her a little, but instead of apologizing, I said, "I'm sorry I yelled at you, but I don't think you'd have done anything if I hadn't." Her response? "You're probably right."

Fucking catch-22. Now I'm trying to get a hold of my son to let him know he has only a few hours to get the bank. We've sent texts & emails and that's about all we can do because I don't think this constitutes an emergency call.

But fucking hell, man! We switched him to the Navy Federal Credit Union specifically because they serve the armed forces and because he was getting stationed over seas.
One or both of you (as in you and your wife) should either be on the account or have a specific POA on file for his bank account. God forbid something happens to him. Without one or both of those two things, you're not going to be able to touch his account. This is also true for things like car insurance and other bills, particularly if he is going to be some place remote where you cannot easily get in touch with him.

Also, USAA is better IMO.
 
I made a terrible choice last night, and now I think my life is pretty much falling apart.

But that's okay! All that pain inside has left me numb and hallowed out. So I'm going to be juuuuuuuust fine.
 
I'm fighting the temptation to drink myself into a stupor, but no Taco Bell. I haven't felt hungry in almost 24 hours.
 
I appear to have just passed a rather large (relatively) kidney stone. Gods above I hate kidney stones, and hate them even more while they're passing/immediately after they've passed. But aside from the intense pain in my crotchular region, it's the best I've felt in days, so I've got that going for me, which is nice.
 
Upside: I've managed to fight off the urge to crawl in a bottle. There's a slim chance that things will work out.

Downside: There's only a slim chance things will work out. I feel hollow, like I'm just drifting along with no purpose. I haven't eaten in well over a day, and I'm still not hungry. I had a cough when this started - it has gotten substantially worse. I can't sleep for more than an hour. And I would literally give anything to go back in time 2 days and make sure none of this ever happened.

I'm sorry to anyone reading this. I'm sure it just seems like self-important whining. This is the last time I'll be posting here for a while. I just wanted to get it off my chest.
 

Dave

Staff member
You said or did the wrong thing to the wrong person and now you have guilt. We've all fucked up and you can't go back and change anything. You just have to deal, which fucking sucks.
 
Legit I think I missed something major. Must have been some crazy crap going down.

Sent from my SM-G900P using Tapatalk
 
I arrive to work and find a guest has left an obscene note on another guest's door. And he was let off with an "if it happens again..." warning.

FUCK THAT. If it had happened on my shift, the guy would have been gone in a heartbeat.

Guess what, asshole. Not only are you not "getting any" tonight, but you fucked yourself over big time. You made another guest fear for her safety and security. You brought shame and disgrace not only upon yourself, but your roommate, this property, and the company you work for, who up until now was footing the bill for you. They WILL be hearing about this in the morning. And unless you fess up to them real quick like, I'm going to guess that you may have just gotten yourself and your buddy fired.

And nothing of value would have been lost.
 
A lightning strike took out six transformers in the surrounding area, and nearly this whole building, and somehow that's my fault? Look around you. Are we really the only ones without power? The electric utility is already on it, and their ETA is noon. Why do you expect me to make it happen sooner?

You saw the outlet in your own room spark and turn black. Is it really any surprise that the coffee machine got fried? I'm busting my ass to do eight hours of work in two. Give me a fucking break.
 
You know what pisses me off more than having a rotten day before it's even noon?

When it's Friday the 13th. What a fucking cliche. I'm proud to have a long history of perfectly nice Fridays the 13th.

Everyone in a position of authority for everything I do is a big stinky butt right now.

I went out to take a drive and run an errand to calm myself down (and since that makes my disability worse you can imagine how much I needed it) and when I got back I realized I look fabulous today. So that's something.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
You know what pisses me off more than having a rotten day before it's even noon?

When it's Friday the 13th. What a fucking cliche. I'm proud to have a long history of perfectly nice Fridays the 13th.

Everyone in a position of authority for everything I do is a big stinky butt right now.

I went out to take a drive and run an errand to calm myself down (and since that makes my disability worse you can imagine how much I needed it) and when I got back I realized I look fabulous today. So that's something.
It's friday the 13th on a night of the full moon. Just be glad you're not a 911 dispatcher, paramedic, cop or emergency room doc.

The wackjobs come out tonight.
 
It's funny how gaining perspective changes a person (me) and suddenly you realize you have little in common with some friends. Because of this, my son won't get a chance to say goodbye to one of his best friends who is leaving the island for good today or early tomorrow. His parents and I have "grown apart", so they didn't bother to ask us to join them in their last-day-in-HI get together with another of Noah's friends. How do I know? There are pictures on FB of the other two boys on the beach together "Last Day with Friends". I haven't said anything about it to Noah (which I know is for the best for several reasons), but I am crushed for him since he has been so upset about his friend leaving and they can't even put aside our differences for our kids.
 
It's friday the 13th on a night of the full moon. Just be glad you're not a 911 dispatcher, paramedic, cop or emergency room doc.
Boy do you not know me. You might as well say "Just be glad you can't ride a bicycle or be a teacher anymore." I would love to be a 911 dispatcher tonight, or work at a suicide hotline like I used to do on full moons. It's not just wackjobs, it's also lonely and depressed people who take superstition far too much to heart and I used to be able to help people like that. But I can't anymore and won't be able to again.

(All things being equal, incidentally, the hotline was no less busy or weird on full moons or Friday the 13th than any other day. Then again, a standard night at the San Francisco hotline resembled a full moon in most other places.)
 

GasBandit

Staff member
Boy do you not know me. You might as well say "Just be glad you can't ride a bicycle or be a teacher anymore." I would love to be a 911 dispatcher tonight, or work at a suicide hotline like I used to do on full moons. It's not just wackjobs, it's also lonely and depressed people who take superstition far too much to heart and I used to be able to help people like that. But I can't anymore and won't be able to again.

(All things being equal, incidentally, the hotline was no less busy or weird on full moons or Friday the 13th than any other day. Then again, a standard night at the San Francisco hotline resembled a full moon in most other places.)
I think you misunderstand. I'm not talking about suicide hotlines. Those aren't who I was referring to as wackjobs. The wackjobs are the people who don't actually have anything wrong with (or special about) them, so they go and invent reasons to be stupid and end up in the drunk tank for trying to bite police officers.



IE, people who take any excuse, no matter how flimsy, to behave badly. The same people who riot after a major sporting event, whether their team wins or loses.

My father was an ER doc. As I'm in radio, we get faxed the police blotter every week. Oh the stories.
 
Nope, I didn't misunderstand. You said "Be glad you're not a 911 dispatcher" and I responded to such. Both suicide hotlines and 911 dispatchers get many of the exact same kind of calls. The people I described as well as the "wackjobs" you describe. (I actually did look into becoming a dispatcher in SF.) Although I'm not sure whether 911 gets as many sex callers as the hotline. Either way, in both cases you have objective emergencies, crisis situations that aren't necessarily about to end in injury or death, people with ridiculous stupid-ass reasons for calling, people who call just to scream and yell at the person on the other end of the phone, et al. I'm good at dealing with all of those and no, I wouldn't mind doing it -- over the phone, to be clear -- tonight. It's the best thing I know for helping people while getting the hell out of your own head.

But WTF, I'll just hang (if in spirit only) in the drunk/high/wasted thread tonight and read mind candy like the really evil Roald Dahl stories.
 
... I've done this. Honestly, it was fascinating to hear everyone telling these amazing stories about someone I'd never meet.
I don't blame people for doing this.

But sometimes I don't get why there's a "funeral party" as I've called it in the past. Hell, I blast it in my novel. Putting food out like it's a wedding reception. I've been to two, my great-grandmother's and my brother's. I understood with my great-grandmother, she lived to be 102 and that's something to celebrate. My brother was 13. I know it's to treat the other people as guests and as thanks for coming, but it just felt obscene and I've hated it ever since.
 

GasBandit

Staff member
I don't blame people for doing this.

But sometimes I don't get why there's a "funeral party" as I've called it in the past. Hell, I blast it in my novel. Putting food out like it's a wedding reception. I've been to two, my great-grandmother's and my brother's. I understood with my great-grandmother, she lived to be 102 and that's something to celebrate. My brother was 13. I know it's to treat the other people as guests and as thanks for coming, but it just felt obscene and I've hated it ever since.
Just so you know I'm speaking from a similar place, my mother died when I was 14 and my grandmother when I was 18... and of course, I had another loss more recently. There was a gathering with food after the funerals. The way I look at it, it was just providing a venue for the bereaved to come together for support. Telling stories of the lost, remembering them together, trying to salvage some small measure of comfort in the face of the stark reminder that the universe is cold and uncaring and will grind you beneath its heel without even noticing you ever existed at all. And sometimes that takes a few hours, and people get hungry.

But it sounds like maybe your experience went differently than mine.
 
Just so you know I'm speaking from a similar place, my mother died when I was 14 and my grandmother when I was 18. There was a gathering with food after both funerals. The way I look at it, it was just providing a venue for the bereaved to come together for support. Telling stories of the lost, remembering them together, trying to salvage some small measure of comfort in the face of the stark reminder that the universe is cold and uncaring and will grind you beneath its heel without even noticing you ever existed at all. And sometimes that takes a few hours, and people get hungry.

But it sounds like maybe your experience went differently than mine.
I understand what you're saying, and that's how it seemed with my great-grandmother's funeral. For the other, it just seemed ... off? We had the wake where people were talking, then the next day funeral at church, off to cemetery (there's no A in this word? what the hell?) and burial, then back to my mom's house with 40-50 people in tow for eating. Something about it just seemed crass. I haven't been to enough funerals to know what's the standard.

But when I'm upset I want to be left alone, so maybe I just didn't like there being a bunch of people in the house while I was grieving. It's been too many years for me to know for certain. I just know the impression it left.

It could've been worse, with people actually acting like jerks. My stepsiblings' mother died a couple years ago, which left my stepdad to make arrangements for a horrible person, which was a lot of time, money, and stress. Then later at dinner, his brother gets miffed because my mom and stepdad seemed "too tired" for company and complained about it. -_- Stuuuuuupid fuck.
 
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