Rant VIII: The Reckoning
- Thread starter Anonymous
- Start date
-
- Tags
- boat people
Apparently the federal government is going to claw back 2 weeks of my pay (and every other federal public servant) again. Oh, did I say every other public servant, I meant every other public servant but themselves, they get a raise.
The Conservative party is not making friends anywhere right now. Even most of my member friends, who are usually pretty hardcore Conservatives, would vote Liberal right now.
The Conservative party is not making friends anywhere right now. Even most of my member friends, who are usually pretty hardcore Conservatives, would vote Liberal right now.
I hate life at this moment
GasBandit
Staff member
Your hate is misplaced. It isn't life that is tormenting you, it's people who are tormenting your life. And it is time to make those people pay.
Nah. There's maybe one person who's caused me some inconvenience but a significant amount of it is just... what it is.
Don't you just love shit like that?
My department has (thus far *knocks on wood*) managed to avoid this sort of furloughing and paycutting - hell, I've even had a couple annual raises, but I reckon it's probably only a matter of time...
If it works fine in safe mode or basic VGA drivers OR with 3D accel slider turned all the way down BUT dies/crashes on regular boot, it's probably hardware.Anyone know of a software way of checking whether it's a hardware problem? At least then I can stop looking
--Patrick
My family doctor just called me an asshole and said I had a personality problem. This was because months ago, I cancelled my appointment with the psychiatrist (or counsellor or something) he set me up with and was apparently rude with them. Fucking hell. I was fucking depressed that day and when I said I needed to change the time, all they had to offer was something a MONTH later. I fucking need the help now.
Goddammit, I don't even know what to do anymore. Both my current job and my last job, someone said it felt like I didn't even want to be there. Which is true because I don't even know where I want to be. All my hopes and plans shot right in my face the moment I had to drop out of my teaching practicum. Now, I don't know what I want do anymore. I don't know what I want to be. I feel so fucking broken and I don't know how to fix it. I'm so reliant on my parents that I can't even remember the last time I could pay for my own bills.
I just...fucking hell. I'm sitting here crying and I don't know what to do anymore. What's the point of anything? I'm 35 with no idea of what I want to do with my life, no social life because I'm such a fucking weirdo with interests none of my friends are into, no family of my own while everyone around me gets married and has kids, and spending all my time sitting in front of a computer doing nothing because I don't know anything else to do. Barely getting enjoyment out of anything I do anymore, even when I bother to have the motivation to do anything.
I just feel so fucking broken and can't be fixed.
Goddammit, I don't even know what to do anymore. Both my current job and my last job, someone said it felt like I didn't even want to be there. Which is true because I don't even know where I want to be. All my hopes and plans shot right in my face the moment I had to drop out of my teaching practicum. Now, I don't know what I want do anymore. I don't know what I want to be. I feel so fucking broken and I don't know how to fix it. I'm so reliant on my parents that I can't even remember the last time I could pay for my own bills.
I just...fucking hell. I'm sitting here crying and I don't know what to do anymore. What's the point of anything? I'm 35 with no idea of what I want to do with my life, no social life because I'm such a fucking weirdo with interests none of my friends are into, no family of my own while everyone around me gets married and has kids, and spending all my time sitting in front of a computer doing nothing because I don't know anything else to do. Barely getting enjoyment out of anything I do anymore, even when I bother to have the motivation to do anything.
I just feel so fucking broken and can't be fixed.
Cajungal
Staff member
I know there's nothing I can say to fix it, ThatNickGuy, but for what it's worth, that doctor was being a jerk. What a rude and unprofessional thing to say. I hope that something changes soon.
ThatNickGuy, I'm in the same boat. I'm also 35, living WITH my parents, barely paying my bills (and that's only because my student loans are being deferred), stuck in the same crappy job for the last ten years, with no prospect of having my own family, in a pseudo-relationship with a girl who will never want anything to do with me physically.
But I keep chugging along, because against everything in me that says I should quit, I have to hope.
Call it foolish optimism, but I have to believe that eventually things will get better. Even though I often feel like the universe's divine punchline, I have to believe that someday I'll be allowed to find that glimmer of happiness I've been longing for. That somehow, for some reason, I was put here for a purpose that I'm just not aware of yet. It's not much, but it's enough to keep me going.
Nick, I hope that somehow you can find that same hope. Until then, "suffer with a smile" as I would say. Don't let the bad things affect how you go through life. You stay true to who you hope to be, to the ideals you regard the most. I believe karma does exist in some form, and I know you'll find your happiness someday too. Until then, get the help you need and hold onto hope.
But I keep chugging along, because against everything in me that says I should quit, I have to hope.
Call it foolish optimism, but I have to believe that eventually things will get better. Even though I often feel like the universe's divine punchline, I have to believe that someday I'll be allowed to find that glimmer of happiness I've been longing for. That somehow, for some reason, I was put here for a purpose that I'm just not aware of yet. It's not much, but it's enough to keep me going.
Nick, I hope that somehow you can find that same hope. Until then, "suffer with a smile" as I would say. Don't let the bad things affect how you go through life. You stay true to who you hope to be, to the ideals you regard the most. I believe karma does exist in some form, and I know you'll find your happiness someday too. Until then, get the help you need and hold onto hope.
If movies and TV are any indication, this is the point where you throw your computer through a window, go buy a manual typewriter from the pawn shop, and start pounding out The Great American Novel while some kind of dramatic music synchronized to your keystrokes plays in the background.
--Patrick
Ping ThatNickGuy
How ya doing today? Looked like we were giving you a fair amount of entertainment last night.
How ya doing today? Looked like we were giving you a fair amount of entertainment last night.
Feeling better, but the situation isn't much better. I went for brunch with my sister today, who has the same kind of thinking as me in terms of caring for others and social injustice. Big inspiration on my life, as she's a High School teacher who is worshipped by her kids.
Anyway, we talked a lot and she gave me the number to a counsellor. I'm not even remotely back to 100%, but feeling slightly better.
Anyway, we talked a lot and she gave me the number to a counsellor. I'm not even remotely back to 100%, but feeling slightly better.
I could always come up there and... y'know... slip ya something.
I'd hug you but you're probably all sweaty and gross.
I'd hug you BECAUSE you're sweaty and gross.
N-no homo...
N-no homo...
I am physically, emotionally, mentally beaten. I just can't feel good or energetic or relaxed lately.
Also a little of this.
I am sorry Chad. If it's any consolation, I'll have the house to myself next week, and not much to do with it besides put in a ton of work on your painting.
If misery loves company, take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. I am right there with you.
Parking. And driving. And shopping. And eating. And working. Somewhere, somehow, they're different now, none of 'em are the same, they all got chewed up and spit back out, and they don't taste like living anymore! Don't you see what it's like in this deranged Whirring Blender of a world?! Every day is an agonizing ordeal, like balancing a pot of scalding water on your head while people whip your legs and butt! Aaaah, you never forget your senior prom. You think I'm "sick"?! Well the only disease I've got is "Modern Life," a schnutbusting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of let-downs, put-downs, trickle downs, shutouts, freeze outs, sell-outs, numnuts, nincompoops and nimrods, all making every day as much fun as waxing a flaming Pontiac with your tongue, where even if you do luck into the possibility of some fleeting pleasure, like, say, if some nymphomaniac telephone operator with the muscle control of Romanian mat-slappers agree to a little strip air hockey, it'll be over before it starts 'cuz some vowel-lacking, feta-reeking cab-jockey slams his checker up your hatchback and the cab is owned by some pinata spanker from a Santeria cult in Xoacalpa who starts shaking chicken bones at you and gives you a boil on your neck so big all it needs is Michael Jordan's autograph to make it complete, and even with all this, with all this, I still drag my sorry butt off the Sealy every morning and stick my face in the reaping machine for one more day, knowing when it's time to flash the cosmic card key at those Pearly Gates, I won't be in the coffin anyway 'cuz some underhanded undertaker sold my heart, pancreas and other assorted Good 'N' Plenty to that same Santeria cult so does anybody really wonder why anybody is hanging onto sanity by the atoms on the tips of their fingernails while life dirty-dances on their digits, and is it really any wonder that I seem deranged?!
TLDR: fuckin youth of today
TLDR: fuckin youth of today
Haha, well make sure you don't hole yourself and go crazy. Although may madness lends itself to art.
There's too many of us to be this low! We should revel in our sense of community!
GasBandit
Staff member
That show was chock full of excellent rants.
"Once again, the U.S. is spending millions to oust a puppet they spent millions to get into office. They'll spend more millions on the coverup to hide having spent those millions and even more millions to discredit members of the media who report otherwise. It's a good thing they print their own money."
"Comedy should provoke! It should blast through prejudices, challenge preconceptions! Comedy should always leave you different than when it found you. Sure, humor can hurt, even alienate, but the risk is better than the alternative: a steady diet of innocuous, child-proof, flavorless mush! Demand to be challenged, to be offended, to be treated like thinking, reasoning adults. And raise your children to be the same. Don't let a comedian, a network, a Congressional committee, or an evil genius take away your freedom to laugh at whatever you want."
"Boo-freaking-hoo. Like I am supposed to take women and how they feel seriously? You ought to be accepted for your minds but you throw a hissy fit royalé if someone isn't saying you look great 30 hours a day. You say you want a nice guy but you only give it up to the creeps. You get to stay home, not go to war, live longer, and have sex whenever you want! So remind me again what exact is there to complain about!"
Family friend is dying. He's taking it ... just like him. Which is great. But it still... sucks. Ya know?
I have a really shitty father.
Just got in between something with him and my brother. My dad is in town for some doctor's appointments this week and he and my brother were going to to get together last night for a beer. My brother works insanely difficult hours (3-4 am all the way to 6 pm some days). So, my brother goes through all the effort to clean himself up (his job is incredibly filthy) and goes to the bar, WELL past when he'd normally be in bed, where he's going to meet our dad. Dad no shows him for an hour and leaves him a message on his house phone that he's just too tired to make it out and that he decided to call it an early evening (ie, he's probably getting himself a prostitute).
My brother calls me livid, holding back tears about how it's the last time he's ever going to make the effort to have a relationship with him again. This is something I gave up on when I was a teenager and went through all this stuff when my brother was too young to have to have dealt with it when our dad left (he was 3 and I was 11) in the first place. I'm so dead to my dad being a waste of life to me, but it really upsets me when it happens to my brother. Dredges up old wounds.
I'm about to go for breakfast with him and I intend to just let him have it about the whole thing.
Just got in between something with him and my brother. My dad is in town for some doctor's appointments this week and he and my brother were going to to get together last night for a beer. My brother works insanely difficult hours (3-4 am all the way to 6 pm some days). So, my brother goes through all the effort to clean himself up (his job is incredibly filthy) and goes to the bar, WELL past when he'd normally be in bed, where he's going to meet our dad. Dad no shows him for an hour and leaves him a message on his house phone that he's just too tired to make it out and that he decided to call it an early evening (ie, he's probably getting himself a prostitute).
My brother calls me livid, holding back tears about how it's the last time he's ever going to make the effort to have a relationship with him again. This is something I gave up on when I was a teenager and went through all this stuff when my brother was too young to have to have dealt with it when our dad left (he was 3 and I was 11) in the first place. I'm so dead to my dad being a waste of life to me, but it really upsets me when it happens to my brother. Dredges up old wounds.
I'm about to go for breakfast with him and I intend to just let him have it about the whole thing.
I have no frame of reference for this. My family (extended and otherwise) consists of supportive people who care, love, etc., and every time I hear something like this, I seriously don't know how it is even possible for a person to be so callous to their progeny. I feel bad that this has to happen to people I Internet-hang-with and care about, and hope you (both) at least have others in your life that you can go to for that kind of familial support.
--Patrick
I have my brother and he has me. Our mom is a wonderful person, but she lives in Calgary and is in a weird situation there with her family that makes our contact sporadic at best despite having a pretty good relationship. That's it. Our other brother got the fuck away from our family as soon as he could. He maintains minimal contact with us.
sometimes i just wonder why i do not fucking slash my wrists and get this shit done with. i cannot handle this empty feeling. thank fuck for alcohol i guess