A Good Day For Single Dorks

Zappit · Dec 17, 2012

http://wonderwall.msn.com/tv/gossip...ced-from-death-cabs-ben-gibbard-1724861.story

Zooey Deschanel is officially divorced. Granted, it does put my chances at like, .000000000000001%, but that is still a step in the right direction.

Yeah, I have a total Zooey crush. Shut up.

bhamv3 · Dec 17, 2012

DIBS!!!

Ravenpoe · Dec 17, 2012

bhamv3 said:
DIBS!!!

Dammit!

Zappit · Dec 17, 2012

bhamv3 said:
DIBS!!!

NO! I called her first!

The_Khan · Dec 17, 2012

guys, we're already engaged. She was impressed by my massive knowledge of Minotaur penis.

Zappit · Dec 17, 2012

The_Khan said:
guys, we're already engaged. She was impressed by my massive knowledge of Minotaur penis.

You get your Minotaur penis out of here, or this might get ugly...

The_Khan · Dec 17, 2012

Zappit said:
You get your Minotaur penis out of her, then put it in again.

don't mind if i do.

PatrThom · Dec 17, 2012

Momma's got an econobox, Daddy never speeds at night.

--Patrick

sixpackshaker · Dec 18, 2012

I am so happy about Zooey's personal turmoil...

BananaHands · Dec 18, 2012

bhamv3 said:
DIBS!!!

Chad Sexington · Dec 18, 2012

I thought this was going to be a dating site for geeks. Oh my god. Why doesn't that exist. I'm a genius. I'm going to invest all of my halbucks in it and then I'll be a rich genius.

Genius.

BananaHands · Dec 18, 2012

Chad Sexington said:
I thought this was going to be a dating site for geeks. Oh my god. Why doesn't that exist. I'm a genius. I'm going to invest all of my halbucks in it and then I'll be a rich genius.

Genius.

And it'll be full of girls like this, right?????

Chad Sexington · Dec 18, 2012

Well, I mean, obviously.

ThatNickGuy · Dec 18, 2012

Chad Sexington said:
I thought this was going to be a dating site for geeks. Oh my god. Why doesn't that exist. I'm a genius. I'm going to invest all of my halbucks in it and then I'll be a rich genius.

Genius.

Such a site actually exists. I don't recall the name of it, though. I never joined because it's one of those bullshit pay sites.

GasBandit · Dec 18, 2012

Wasn't that exact situation a PVP comic arc?

Tress · Dec 18, 2012

Chad Sexington said:
I thought this was going to be a dating site for geeks. Oh my god. Why doesn't that exist. I'm a genius. I'm going to invest all of my halbucks in it and then I'll be a rich genius.

Genius.

Geek2Geek beat you to it by a few years.

Chad Sexington · Dec 18, 2012

So what you're telling me is I'm not an originator of an amazing business concept that will make me millions?

I'm going to go drink my day away. Thanks guys. Thanks for smashing my dreams.

Charlie Don't Surf · Dec 18, 2012

A Good Day For People To Creepily Treat A Famous Woman As An Object

GasBandit · Dec 18, 2012

Charlie Don't Surf said:
A Good Day For People To Creepily Treat A Famous Woman As An Object

Aaaand there it is.

Zappit · Dec 18, 2012

Charlie Don't Surf said:
A Good Day For People To Creepily Treat A Famous Woman As An Object

Noooooooo. You obviously don't appreciate Zooey. Her personality, talent, down to Earth quality - that's why I have a crush.

If it was solely about looks, there are plenty of other vapid, personality-deficient candidates. Granted, they get treated like objects often, but I'm pretty sure Kim Kardashian would count as an object, as she is more silicone than actual flesh.

She gets treated like a wall. When Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have sex, he makes her wear a mirror.

But yeah, bash us folks who would greatly like to date a person like Zooey. It's not always about looks and sex, Charlie, but that's the first place you go, with your dirty, dirty mind.

Azurephoenix · Dec 18, 2012

Charlie Don't Surf said:
A Good Day For People To Creepily Treat A Famous Woman As An Object

If Charlie can't have her... NO ONE CAN!!!!

Shannow · Dec 18, 2012

Dont worry, you all have a good shot. No, really. You do.

GasBandit · Dec 18, 2012

Shannow said:
Dont worry, you all have a good shot. No, really. You do.

Especially from this high vantage point with my new scope.

Adam · Dec 18, 2012

Shannow said:
Dont worry, you all have a good shot. No, really. You do.

I would say that they all have an equal shot.

ThatNickGuy · Dec 18, 2012

GasBandit said:
Aaaand there it is.

Dammit, you called it. *pays up*

BananaHands · Dec 18, 2012

Gon' tweet at Zooey. "AY BITCH LOOKIN 2 FUK"

Azurephoenix · Dec 18, 2012

BananaHands said:
Gon' tweet at Zooey. "AY BITCH LOOKIN 2 FUK"

Oh man, Charlie is going be all up in your face for that one...

drifter · Dec 18, 2012

Be careful what you wish for.

BananaHands · Dec 18, 2012

Azurephoenix said:
Oh man, Charlie is going be all up in your face for that one...

Oh, here. Let me hipster that statement up.

"Hey Zooey, I have fleet foxes on vinyl. Want to listen to it while drinking Hot Toddies?"

sixpackshaker · Dec 18, 2012

BananaHands said:
Oh, here. Let me hipster that statement up.

"Hey Zooey, I have fleet foxes on vinyl. Want to listen to it while drinking Hot Toddies?"

That might actually work with her.

BananaHands · Dec 18, 2012

Just wait until she finds out that I'm vegan.

I think I'm up to a .000000000000003% chance now.

sixpackshaker · Dec 18, 2012

BananaHands said:
Just wait until she finds out that I'm vegan.

I think I'm up to a .000000000000003% chance now.

Are you an industry insider millionaire?[DOUBLEPOST=1355866945][/DOUBLEPOST]Also, she's no longer vegan...

bhamv3 · Dec 18, 2012

I'll get her before any of you losers do.

Adam · Dec 18, 2012

sixpackshaker said:
Are you an industry insider millionaire?[DOUBLEPOST=1355866945][/DOUBLEPOST]Also, she's no longer vegan...

She don't like meat but she sure likes the banana!

Gusto · Dec 18, 2012

Her?

In the couple things I've seen her in, I haven't really been a big fan of Zooey.

But let's not get Charlie to call me a bad person for not liking 500 Days of Summer again. :awesome: