[Thread Game] Corrupt a wish foundation
- Thread starter Yoshimickster
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GRANTED! However Charles Bronson kills you any way.
Edit: GAH! Ninja'd again.
Granted! However they are all for a copy of Newsweek-THE BABY ISSUE! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
I wish I had limitless shape-shifting abilities.
Granted. Except you have no control over what you shape-shift into or when. It all happens at random.
I wish I knew the winning lottery numbers for the next big Powerball drawing.
Granted, you start celebrating early, pass out wake up at 9:00 pm with out a $1 to your name.
I wish I was better at stomping on the dreams of others.
GRANTED! You are now the Nightmare master! You ruin peoples dreams all the time! However since the average person hardly even remembers their dreams, it doesn't do much.
I wish I had more Mashed potatoes.
Granted but you have an inverse proportional amount of gravy.
I wish I could astrally project.
GRANTED! However the Ghost Busters mistake you for a demon and trap you in that ghost trap they have goin' on.
I wish the Ice King would get back his memory.
Granted! The Ice King does get his memory back, but the thought of the man he once was combined with what he remembers of his actions causes him to sink into a deep depression. While in this depression, the crown reacts to such major emotion and freezes the entire planet.
I wish I had a hoverboard.
GRANTED! However you accidentally go on water while being pursued by a gang. And things don't turn out so well for you.
I wish I had guns. Lots of guns.
Granted! You have the largest collection of Super Soakers and other water guns known to exist. Plus you even have the gun from the Island of Misfit Toys that shoots jelly.
I want a maid.
I want a maid.
GRANTED! However it turns out she's a con-artist and steals thousands of dollars from you. Shes good at cleaning, but a HORRIBLE person.
I wish for a retail comic that wasn't so damn soap opera-ey.
Granted! Less soap, but lots more OPERA!
I wish Lego sets weren't so damn expensive.
GRANTED! However they are now all just two-piece sets. You stick one colored brick on another and BAM- model of an ATAT.
I wish for a spin-off for the Psycho Rangers from Power Rangers in Space. They were awesome.
Granted! However, the show is a complete disaster and leaves such a bad mark that the franchise is sunk...at least until Hollywood decides to resurrect the Power Rangers franchise with a movie directed by Michael Bay.
I wish that I was in shape.
Zappit
Staff member
Isosceles what you did there.
Granted. We're shy and socially restrained, leading to disappointment.
I wish Rush Limbaugh would finally admit he's just a fraud.
GRANTED! However it is in writing, and is read 30 years after his death by when nobody cares any more.
I wish I had a 3DS.
Granted! You just grabbed the last 3DS off of the store shelves during Black Friday. Hundreds of parents, desperate to get something really cool for their kids during the Black Friday sales, look at you with pleading eyes. The pleading ends, however, when they all start to charge at you.
I wish for my student loan to be paid off.
Granted. The entirty of your student loans are paid off in full and will be fully deducted from each paycheck leaving you with no way to pay bills so you are forced to take out ever increasing amount of money from payday loan stores.
I wish my five year old would be released from the hospital already so we can go home already
Zappit
Staff member
Granted, but now you can't pay back the loan shark, and he has you beaten into a coma, which creates even more debt.
I wish George R. R. Martin could finish a Game of Thrones book in less than six years.
Well played.
Granted! Since he's sick of people asking about them, he releases the cliff notes version of all his future books for the same cost as a regular book, and retires.
I wish I made more than $10 for today's garage sale.
GRANTED! However it turns out that you only sold one of your items at a high price because it turns out it was filled with cocaine. YOU GOIN TO JAIL!
I wish I had a light saber.
Granted but since you don't know how to use it you end up cutting off all your limbs.
I wish I could read faster.
GRANTED! But after reading Kilgore Trout's book you end up believing that everyone on Earth is really a robot. This realization causes you to go on a violent rampage, even bashing your gay son's head into a piano. You also yell - "YOU WANNA KNOW WHY MY WIFE DRANO?! BECAUSE SHE WAS JUST THAT KIND OF MACHINE!" And then you go to jail or something, I forget the ending.
I wish download sites weren't run by lying douche bags that trick me into downloading a useless APP!
Download sites are now run by upright honest people, but you're still gullible enough to download useless apps.
I wish this paper would write itself.
It does but your paper is an unabashed racist and it makes your professor think you're a terrible person.
I wish the NHL lockout would end.
Granted, but its haunted by a racist mobster.
I wish to never stop farting. I always feel purified afterwards.
Granted! You never stop farting, so you are continually expelling a foul-smelling gas without any stop. No one can stand to be around such a disgusting odor, so you are left alone, no one to keep you company except for the smelly cloud of death that follows you.
I wish I could relive the sensory memory of my first kiss.
GRANTED! However you know how they that when you die your life flashes before your eyes? Well guess how you relive that memory?
I wish I had a job at comic book store.
The Genie says, "Sorry, it would be easier to cause peace to break out in the Middle East."
I wish there was peace in the Middle East.
GRANTED! However now there is war in the Upper East. Should've seen it coming honestly, war does rise.
I wish I had a hard back copy of Avatar: The Promise.
Granted but it's a 20th generation bootleg and it's illegible.
I wish I didn't need to have a job.
GRANTED! However while you are independently wealthy, you also can't leave the house. Ever. And no-one can come in the house. Ever. You can eat, read as much as you want, watch as much TV as you want, but you can never ever leave the house. Ever.
I wish I was an Ace detective.
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