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It was March 29, 1987. The world was about to witness a truly miraculous event. Martin and Suzan Martinez were welcoming their second child into this world…
…And Hulk Hogan was about to body-slam Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania III. Was it coincidence that these two events occurred on the same exact date? Most likely.
Born from humble beginnings in California’s bay area, Christopher Martinez quickly became familiar with the world around him. It’s rumored that around his fourth birthday, his family took him from the bay area and headed north. It was here, in Redding, that the young boy would be set loose into the wilds.
It did not take young Christopher long before he began fending for himself. Gaining sustenance in the form of Grizzly bear meat, as well as river’s water, he grew strong, aware, and brave. Just before his tenth birthday, Christopher was reunited with his family, after stumbling upon them while wandering around a local K-Mart. Having discovered that their little boy had succeeded in fending for himself, the family eagerly welcomed young Christopher home. Also, Christopher stole a pencil from K-Mart, and killed three ninja’s.
Having to escape a more-than-certain ninja counter-attack, the family packed up and headed back south. However, the caravan of oxen, which were lugging all the family belongings, tragically died just south of Sacramento. It was here that the Martinez clan set up a new home, and began to start their lives anew. They began to build their home, and as they were laying a foundation, discovered an oil field beneath their home! …Which was also on a mountain that contained an extremely vast and prosperous gold mine.
After securing their newly acquired fortune, it was decided that the money would best be used to ensure a promising future for Christopher. As such, it was decided to spend the entire sum in an extremely experimental procedure; A procedure which, if a success, would replace Christopher’s brain with that of a dolphin- the smartest mammal alive.
Sadly, the operation was a complete failure. During the operation, a mix-up had occurred, and instead of receiving a dolphin brain, Christopher accidentally had a pencil attached in place left hand. It was this day that Christopher was destined to become an artist. Though, ironically, he was unable to use the pencil grafted onto his hand, as he was right-handed. He vowed not to let this handicap slow his dreams, and trained himself for years to draw with his dominant right hand.
And so, Christopher continues to practice his drawings….Mostly focusing on cartooning, because he is lazy, and doesn’t have the ability to do real art. He continues to update his DeviantArt gallery (Spanish29.DeviantArt.com) with new artwork and silly journal entries. He also continues to talk about himself in the third person and write fake biographies about himself, even at the insistence that it is foolish, and creepy.
...Christopher just don’t care.
Some examples of Christopher's talent can be seen...NOW!
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Originally Posted by Edrondol
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